


i'll_never_let_go_jack.gif

by panacea_knits



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Crack, M/M, Parody, Self-Insert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-11
Updated: 2019-02-11
Packaged: 2019-10-26 08:03:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17742086
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/panacea_knits/pseuds/panacea_knits
Summary: Pffft.





	i'll_never_let_go_jack.gif

“Get out of the way!!” you scream as you sprint up to the helm of the ship.

Just ahead, the iceberg looms. 

You grab the big fancy wheel with both hands, throw your weight down to one side, then let go.

The wheel spins. The iceberg looms closer.

“Shit!” you mutter-screech. 

You give up on the wheel and scramble out onto the deck. Against the front railing, Steve and Bucky stand stock still, eyes forward, a single tear rolling down each of their cheeks. Their hands hang at their sides, pinky fingers not quite touching.

You shove them out of the way.

“No,” you say, pointing one finger straight ahead in what you hope is a menacing and/or authoritative manner.

The iceberg seems to cackle.

“Motherfucker, I said NO,” you intone as you whip your laser cannon out of your back pocket, settle its gleaming bulk on your shoulder, and fire.

The iceberg visibly cowers, then explodes.

When the ice chips have stopped raining down and the choppy waters have settled, you holster your laser cannon, dust off your hands and turn to Steve and Bucky, who stand agape beside you.

“You may kiss now,” you provide, magnanimously.

They do.

**Author's Note:**

> (With tongue.)


End file.
